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Take Charge – Assertiveness And Goals

You think you know what you want. But how do you get it? And do you really want it?

I felt fed up. So, I went to the airport. “Please sell me a ticket to somewhere lovely,” I asked. Yes sir, where specifically? “Oh, somewhere that I’ll feel great and at ease with myself!” Yes, but I need to know where, specifically! “Uh, yeah, look, just sell me ticket to somewhere great, OK?” Well, take this ticket. I’ve always wanted to go there! “Thanks!”

I ended up touring roller coasters throughout the world. The seller’s idea of a dream holiday, but not mine! You see, if you don’t know precisely what you want, and have goals that match your values, you won’t get what you want!

A study of Yale University graduates from 1953-1973 found that the 3% that had written goals achieved more in 20 years than the combined efforts of the other 97%. In other words, they achieved well over 30 times greater success! Successful people — from Donald Trump to Anthony Robbins — know their goals and personal values precisely.

Follow these simple steps to create written goals and start the journey to your dream life.

Figure out your desires

Take a fresh piece of paper and a sit in a quiet room. List everything you want in life. List:

What you want to have or own (e.g. a red Ferrari, a leather sofa, new shoes)

What you want to do (e.g. go on a hot-air balloon ride, lose weight, learn a new language)

How you want to feel (e.g. confident, tolerant, peaceful)

Go crazy! Let yourself go! Don’t worry about making your goals “realistic” — that comes later.

You may find it helps to think of the following areas of your life.

Money & finances

Health & fitness

Fun & adventure

Career & work

Friends & family

Physical environment

Romance & relationships

Personal & spiritual growth

Check the ethics

Now, for each goal, ask yourself, “How many of areas of my life will it improve?” Subtract one for each area it will seriously damage. For example, a new Ferrari might improve Fun & adventure and Physical environment, but will seriously damage Money & finances, so it scores only 1. (If your partner would leave you over this, subtract another one for Romance & relationships!)

Look at your scores. Goals with higher scores provide more value to your life. Goals with lower scores distract you from finding happiness! How many surprises did you have? Did you have any negative scores?

Act!

Choose your three most important goals. Word them positively; as precisely as possible; and in the present as if you’ve already achieved them. For example, instead of, “I want to lose 2 stone,” write, “I fit size 12 jeans.” Instead of, “I don’t want to be shy,” write, “I smile warmly and show genuine interest when meeting new people.”

Now, for each goal, write down one thing that you can do this week to move towards that goal. Write them down on paper. Stick them on your bathroom mirror, inside your purse or wallet, and so on.

Revise your goals every week (some goals will change. Let it happen). You will get “somewhere nice” sooner than you think!

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.— Albert Einstein.

About the Author

Paddy Landau, Hypnotherapist and Life Coach based in Oxford UK
Change Fast — with Hypnotherapy, NLP, EFT and Life Coaching

Ferrari’s Alonso and Massa ride world’s fastest rollercoaster at Ferrari World

 

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